New 30 MILES OF CRAZY! CIRCUS! (74.5)
“And that thoroughfare, born beneath the mountainous mountains of rocky peaks so high, seeing as it shall victual to prospectors, explorers, and men of chance, and whereas said men, in their sparse moments of recess and requiescence, require relief of an immediate and carnal conformation, let Colfax Way be a den of avarice, a cauldron of covetousness, a peccadillo wharf in a sea-storm of morality. Let not a man walk Colfax Way and wonder, ‘Where shall I deposit my virility this eve, where may I encounter mine intoxicant?’ for he shall find all he seeks on Colfax. Curse these vexatious rickets!”
– Schuyler Colfax (March 23, 1823 – January 13, 1885, Vice President under Ulysses S. Grant, and Colfax Avenue’s namesake) from his 1878 autobiography, Cursed Rickets
Someone should make a T-Shirt out of this one.
Musical Accompaniment … and… GO!