Karl and Kelly Con 2016 – Things to Do in Denver

Stay Classy, Colfax…


(no… I am not going to make an easy joke about a certain mid-90s film.)

Okay… When you think of Colorado, one of the first things that you think about is mountains, hiking, climbing, skiing… outdoors-y stuff.

Yeah… Kelly and I do none of that, so we are literally the wrong people to ask. I’m sure that you can look online for that sort of thing.

Taking a quick glance at the internet, this are some things that we’ve found (we are here to help):

– If you do have some odd compelling desire to head up into the mountains, there are several large mountains (over 14,000 feet or fourteeners as the kids like to call them) along the Front Range. Some of them can be seen from the Pavillion in Cheesman Park (Best way to see the mountains: from a distance. I think there is a plaque out there as well telling you which mountain is which.) Mount Evans is the highest and also has a road (the highest paved road in America) that goes all the way to the top. That is about an hour away.

– There is also Trail Ridge Road that starts up near Estes Park, CO (about an hour and half away, where the Stanley Hotel, i.e.: The Shining hotel, is also located), which goes through Rocky Mountain National Park and up into the mountains.

Buffalo Bill’s Grave is also near by, high a top Lookout Mountain, in Golden, CO (The Coors Brewery is also out in the Golden area if you have a desire to tour that.) That is about a half hour away.

– Also, if you’d like to head up to Boulder for some strange reason, that is also about a half hour away (yep… the house that Mork and Mindy was said to have been set in is still there.)

– Before you get the idea into your head, Aspen/Woody Creek (i.e: Where HST lived) is much further away. High up in the mountains and over a four hour drive by car

– Lastly, there is also the Red Rocks Amphiteatre, also about a half hour away. Yes, you can go up and visit the venue (and museum) even if there is no scheduled performances (… and in November, there are no scheduled performances.)

FUN FACT: The krummholz tree is the only tree that grows over timberline (about 11 to 12,000 feet above sea level). At that altitude, there is cold, lack of moisture, and even less oxygen for trees to grow, except for the krummholz tree. It is short, gnarled, and survivors. The word krummholz literally means ‘warped wood’. IT’S TRUE!!!

Of course if you want to wander around Denver, there are always museums and parks:

Here is a full interactive map of Denver, listing hotels, bars, museums, and restaurants. We embrace our new technological overlords: Click here for Map of DENVER!

Denver Art Museum  http://denverartmuseum.org/
Downtown Aquarium, Denver  http://www.aquariumrestaurants.com/downtownaquariumdenver/default.asp
Black American West Museum & Heritage Center  http://www.blackamericanwestmuseum.org/
Buffalo Bill’s Grave http://www.buffalobill.org/
Denver Botanic Gardens  http://www.botanicgardens.org/
Cheesman Park  http://cheesmanpark.net/
City Park  http://www.denver.org/listings/City-Park/6822/
History Colorado Center   http://www.historycolorado.org/
Clyfford Still Museum  https://clyffordstillmuseum.org/
The Museum of Contemporary Art  http://mcadenver.org/
Molly Brown House Museum  http://www.mollybrown.org/
United States Mint  http://www.usmint.gov/mint_tours/?action=startreservation
Rocky Mountain Arsenal (this is wildlife refuge) https://www.fws.gov/refuge/rocky_mountain_arsenal/
Denver Museum of Nature and Science  http://www.dmns.org/
Red Rocks Amphitheatre  http://redrocksonline.com/
Trail Ridge Road  https://www.nps.gov/romo/planyourvisit/trail_ridge_road.htm
Washington Park  http://www.denver.org/listings/Washington-Park/6828/
Wings Over the Rockies Air & Space Museum  http://wingsmuseum.org/
Denver Zoo http://www.denverzoo.org/

A few words on that substance that is now legal here…

One of the first things that you notice as you walk around the city is the potent smell on the breeze that reminds you of either burning tires or your half-assed wreck of a college dorm roommate (you know… the one always listening to cats being strangled… Phish or The Dead). Yes… Marijuana… Cannaibis… Reefer… Weed… Jazz Cigarettes… are all now legal in Colorado. … And yes, you can actually go out and by some product while you are here. There are close to 400 dispensaries in Denver alone. There is even a section of South Broadway now referred to as The Green Mile, if you can believe that.

FUN FACT! There are more marijuana dispensaries in Colorado than than McDonald’s and Starbuck’s coffee shops COMBINED! It’s TRUE!!! 

Now, there are two types of dispensaries: Medical and Recreational. With the Medical, they are only allowed to sell you product if you have some sort of a medical card to purchase them. With Recreational shops… just have at it. However, there are still some rules. You cannot purchase a Scrooge McDuck-sized money pile of weed and simply dive into it. Out of towners can purchase and possess up to 1 ounce (28 grams). HOWEVER… Be warned: the cannabis that is now available in shops is not your common street skunk week. Because of science, it is VERY STRONG POTENT high grade quality stuff! Even realizing that… Don’t even touch the edibles. No… Really. Unless you want to lose 12 to 18 hours of your life motionless on the floor of your hotel wondering why the universe is cracking around you: DON’T TOUCH THE EDIBLES!!!

Even though it’s legal, there are some rules.

It is illegal to smoke on the street. Yes, though most people ignore this rule as long as you are not blatant Cheech and Chong-ing about it. Hence the burning tire smell in the air.
It is illegal to smoke on bar, cafe, and restaurant patios. That is true and very frowned upon. Don’t be THAT guy. We hate him.
It is illegal to carry it over state lines. No… you cannot take your new product home with you. Sorry.

If you are still interested in picking up some of the fastest growing cash crop, there are dispensaries on almost every corner. Just look for the green cross on the side of the building. Though K and I do not partake, we would suggest Botanico on Larimer Street for any of your green needs. Yes, they are friends of ours.

NEXT: Denver’s Bars, Breweries and Distilleries. Where to drink!


Posted on

September 8, 2016

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