by Karl Krumpholz | Aug 20, 2014 | 30 Miles of Crazy
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT!
“Harsh and beautiful. Tell Karl thank you. After 5 hospice referrals this week, I need this series to keep my humanity” – Theresa A. (Geriatirician & Palliative Care Doctor)
A few people have asked me about this and I always aim to please. So, here’s the full funeral storyline from 30 MILES OF CRAZY! (#55.5-60, and all the CIRCUS entries in between) reposted again, without having the tedious wait for the slow petty pace of 160 or so hours of time between each installments. Yes, here is your instant gratification. You can thank me later.
Let me again point out that this story is utterly true. This is my family. I didn’t get to chose them. You can read the forward for each installment (and also hear their ‘Musical Accompaniment’) at the link above each comic.
So… here it is. Philadelphia and the Funeral of my Father. You supply the laughs.
Musical Accompaniment… and…
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30 MILES OF CRAZY! CIRCUS! (#55.5): Philadelphia
30 MILES OF CRAZY! (#56): The Funeral of CGK, Part 1
READ THE REST OF THE SERIES UNDER THE CUT!!! GO ON! COME TO THE PARTY!
(more…)
by | Aug 19, 2014 | 30 Miles of Cocktails
Colt & Gray
1553 Platte Street
Denver, CO 80202
http://www.coltandgray.com/
“I’ve only had a few sips and I’m already feeling it”, Kelly said as took another sip of her Belgium Saison. “This is delightful.”
I set my Old Fashioned back upon the dark wood bar of Colt & Gray. It was still early. The bar had only opened 20 or so minutes before and was slowly filling up with people finally getting off work. The glass was slightly sticky in my hand from the sugar of the cocktail. Normally, I may make a mental ‘tut tut’ over this small fact, but it didn’t matter at all since the cocktail was so very good. This was my first time at Colt & Gray, which has been one of those bars that have always been high on the best cocktails in Denver lists since they opened a several years ago. Kelly, knowing where to go, has already been here several times before; but I have been shamefully lax on making it over to this neighborhood for a drink.
Looking around, the bar’s dark wood gives the entire area a classic feel. Several bow ties decorate some of the bottles along the right side of the bar. There was a growing blend of businessmen and locals are on the other side of the room enjoying their cocktails or beers while a mix of Jazz, Soul, and Blues (Fred Astaire, Aretha Franklin, Junior Kimbrough, Otis Redding, etc…) plays over the stereo. Kelly has always been delighted by the space. It’s on the same lines of recent cocktail lounges like Williams & Graham or Green Russell, without the kitsch factor of the latter (which always kind of reminded me of some sort of a booze theme park… wait a moment… new idea: ‘Whiskey Land!” ) This can be a problem in the new era of spreading speakeasy cocktail lounges culture (which I do enjoy.) Because of the kitsch factor of some of these new places, you often get overwhelmed by the sights and lose a lot of the elegance and crafted cocktails. Happily, this is not a problem here. Colt & Gray is elegant and understated.
Happily, this is not a problem here. Colt & Gray is elegant and understated.
I started with an Old Fashioned (which I always a reliable drink test for the quality of the place), while Kelly sips at her Lost Abbey Saison.
“As I was walking over here through Commons Park West, some kid yelled at me ‘Hey Swing Kid! Wanna buy a pair of sunglasses as sharp as that suit?’ ”, I mentioned as I was taking another sip. “Sure I was in my suit and hat, but…”
“Swing Kid?”, Kelly asked confused. “How do they even know what that is?”
“No clue.”, I replied as I finished my Old Fashioned and contemplated my next cocktail. I wanted something new. The chalkboard high up next to me listed several drink specials, including the ’50/50’ (which is an old pre-prohibition martini, where the gin and vermouth are mixed in an equal ratio, unlike the scant whisper of vermouth in the modern version.) I was stuck between ordering that and the ‘Bennet’ (which I’ve seen several recipes for and always sounded just like a Gimlet with bitters… which I’d thought was called a ‘Marlowe’ after they cocktail he and Terry Lennox drink in the ‘The Long Goodbye.’) I asked Dwight, our bartender, about the differences between the two drinks.
“Well…”, Dwight replied. “It depends on what’s going on.”
Kelly laughed, ordered an Upslope Belguim Pale Ale, and continued to look over the menu. I fell back to the 50/50, since I’m not afraid and do enjoy some good vermouth in my martini (and still thought a ‘Marlowe’ was a better name for the Bennet.)
I fell back to the 50/50, since I’m not afraid and do enjoy some good vermouth in my martini (and still thought a ‘Marlowe’ was a better name for the Bennet.)
Once our new drinks were placed in front of us, Kelly still looking at the menu, insisted that we get snacks. Colt & Gray has a limited, but precise and selective menu; and quite a few things caught her eye. “I want oysters! No, fritters! No meat and cheese plate! No, marrow bones! No, sweetbreads! They are quite tasty here. When I was last here having drinks with Meaux, she got me to try them once…”
“Aren’t those like gizzards and whatnot?”
“Thymus glands, I think. Of baby cows.”
*blink*
In the end, we settled on a Charcuterie & Cheese plate (we picked Proscuitto Cotto, Pea-Meal Bacon, with a Vermont Farmstead Windsordale) along with an order of the Sweet Corn & Crab Fritters. They were all quickly demolished.
I finished my gin cocktail as Kelly got that gleam in her eyes again.
“Along with a good beer, I can just eat meat and cheese all the time. This is perfect!”
by | Aug 18, 2014 | 30 Miles of Cocktails
The World Famous Lion’s Lair Lounge
2022 East Colfax Avenue
Denver, CO 80206
http://www.lionslairlounge.com/
“God… I’m starving”, Kelly said as she rushed into the bar.
The World Famous Lion’s Lair is not something that you immediately think of when contemplating food. Easily enough though since they don’t serve any (aside from an M&M and other odd candies in an over sized gum ball machine in the corner.) Luckily however, I brought a tortas sandwich along with me for Kelly from a small hole in the wall a bit further along East Colfax (Tortas Grill… very good.) She sat down and tore into the bag while I ordered another whiskey from Sara Belle. As Kelly had just walked in, Sara also mixed up a ‘Buckshot Beauty’: an original cocktail that she made up and named after Kelly (that’s a longer story for another day.)
The World Famous Lion’s Lair… a no frills space for a beer and a shot. Part venue, part East Colfax institution. I’ve heard various stories about the origin of the place, depending on whom you ask, which can be traced back to the 50’s or 20s (as a dancehall that also included the spaces where the tattoo shop, dispensary, and liquor store all reside now.) To me, the Lair best represents what Colfax Avenue actually is: a bare-bones, low-down place full of stories and characters. This is the bar where everyone eventually finds themselves in at 2am. This is the bar where bad and sometimes great decisions are made. This is the bar where you collect stories.
… This is the bar where everyone eventually finds themselves in at 2am. This is the bar where bad and sometimes great decisions are made. This is the bar where you collect stories.
One of the reasons we love the Lair is that you never know what to expect from this place. Walk in on a Saturday afternoon and you may find half the bar singing and dancing along to Abba, Nancy Sinatra, or some weird unknown cover of ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’ (Thank you, DJ Bell of ‘Kooky K!t$h!’). At another time you may be accosted by one the East Colfax Regulars, slurring his way through a story that involves an alley, a wheelchair, the cover of darkness, and a copious amount of bourbon. Walk in on a weeknight and the place may be full of music from some band passing through town. If you’re lucky, you may stumble upon a The Melvins secret show (happened to us), or a set by John Doe (who only plays the Lair when he’s in town).
The Lair was also one of the first bars I found myself in when I finally moved to Denver years ago (living only a couple blocks away also helps). Not only had I been hearing about that place for years back then (even before I started visiting the city), but at that first night there was able to see Slim Cessna’s Auto Club – one of the best, most welcoming (at least to me) events after I’d only been living in the Mile High City for less than a month. If Denver was some sort of communicable disease, I got it that night from the sheer press of the crowd at the show in such an intimate setting.
Yes, I used the word ‘intimate’ which in all ways seems wrong. It kind of brings to mind singer/songwriters strumming on acoustic guitars, singing about their lost cat by candlelight… which is totally not the case if you’ve ever set foot in the place. The size of the Lair is so small that you can be punched on one side of the bar and still hit the wall of the other, likely hitting a half a dozen band stickers that have been placed there over the years (I can still find the sticker of a local Philly band that I saw many times in the 90’s among the collection of band debris scattered over the Lair’s walls). That first night, and most other nights I’ve been there for shows are cramped, beer soaked, rowdy, near riots. People yelling for drinks or at each other; booze being tossed onto the floor, over the patrons, and down their gullets; shoving matches that could be called dancing or drunken stumbles; and music blaring over everything, demanding some attention. Events that have to be experienced to be believed.
Kelly finished her torta and the last of her ‘Buckshot’ cocktail. She then looked straight at me, saying, “Another round?”
by Karl Krumpholz | Aug 8, 2014 | 30 Miles of Crazy
Friday! Time for a new 30 MILES OF CRAZY! (#60) with Part 5 (of 6) of ‘On the Road – Philadelphia!’
If you haven’t heard, I will be exhibiting this weekend at Boston Comic Con in the Artist Alley, Table D229. Come by, say ‘Hello’, and pick up some Crazy! (That’s how all the kids are apparently saying it nowadays.)
Here we are at the end of the storyline… and like all difficult times in your life, you just need a drink.
so… three… two… one… Musical Accompaniment… and GO!
“Watch the Tramcar, Please!!!!”
Share and Enjoy!
by | Aug 1, 2014 | 30 Miles of Crazy
Friday! Time for a new 30 MILES OF CRAZY! (#59) with Part 4 (of 6) of ‘On the Road – Philadelphia!’
“Harsh and beautiful. Tell Karl thank you. After 5 hospice referrals this week, I need this series to keep my humanity” – Theresa A. (Geriatirician & Palliative Care Doctor)
Once again… please note that this week’s comic is THREE pages! I’m getting to the end of this story, pulling out all the stops, and tying everything up. So…
Many years ago…
“I think you should look normal. I mean, get a haircut, get rid of all the black, and go utterly straight,” my father turned and said to me over the blare of my headphones as we drove down Ashton Street.
“What the hell do you mean?”, I replied. I was 16 years old, had my hair in the standard devil-lock down passed my chin, had my required black Misfits shirt, and my battered skateboard over my knees. My father was driving us home, as I was never that great at skating.
“Go straight. Full on. Short hair, collared shirt, tie… No one will expect it.” he said with the fake smile of someone trying to con you. “Being utterly normal looking is way more punk rock than looking like all the rest of your friends.”
Like most things my father said at the time, I knew that he was full of shit.
“I get enough of ‘looking normal’ at Catholic School”, I replied, hating that I still had another year or so to go before graduation.
“I tell you, you’d look sharp!”, my father said continuing to press the point. “Get a really nicely cut suit. I used to get mine at Krass Brothers down on South Street.” Like Pavlov’s dog and most of the times during my youth, I simply rolled my eyes once again. My father would never understand. I turned up the volume a bit more on my Walkman and stared at the bland uniform row homes drift by.
It took another 16 years for me to wise up, clean up, and start wearing suits regularly. To start dressing nice and looking sharp. Only then, on visits back to the family, did he wonder aloud why I had to dress up all the time.
OTHER THINGS
You may have noticed the new fancy website (Many thanks to Andy D and All Trades Design). You can now order copies of the new 30 MILES Collection online: http://4fc.ca5.myftpupload.com/shop/
Also, Thanks to Daniel E and Comics Bulletin for a great review of the collection!
“Though 30 Miles of Crazy has, as its subtitle, “True-ish tales of derelicts, bars, and denizens of other low places,” the book is a love story, really. It documents Krumpholz’s love of his town, his friends, his lover, and, above all else, other people. Certainly there are moments in this book that focus on the raw, fucked up, and desperate aspects of humanity, but Krumpholz’s portrayal of everyone and everything, while not exactly reverential, is suffused with understanding and affection.
It’s also pretty fucking funny in parts.”
Check out the full review here: http://www.comicsbulletin.com/reviews/7000/tiny-pages-made-of-ashes-812014-comics-for-journeys/
… and now…. on to THE FUNERAL OF CGK, Part 4… The funeral is finally over. K and I flee into the city and to a small hole in the wall off Broad Street that I spent way too many nights at 15+ years ago when I still lived in Downtown Philadelphia. Yes… though there is no sign (but murals all around), the locals know it as the great Dirty Franks.
Like all the previous posts in this series, the musical accompaniment will be one of his favorite songs. My father was the one that pointed me in the direction of this artist and started on this particular road. So with that… three… two… one… Musical Accompaniment… and GO!
Next week… the Epilogue.
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